I’m going to spend several hours with a girlfriend tomorrow to get my planning mojo on. We’ll be spreading our planners and stickers and washi tape all over her house, (maybe just the dining room table) and jumping into Susannah Conway‘s Unravel Your Year workbook. Part of my plan for the day is to choose a word for 2018 as well, from the five I have on my short list:

Over the last couple of days, my emotions have been not just on my sleeve, but really climbing all over my sweater, and falling out of the pockets. I tend to stay pretty even-keel, but I had to cry in the shower Monday to let some of it out. So when I opened my current journal this morning to the first couple of pages, written in January 2013 (I put it down and didn’t use this one for a few years after the first entries), I was struck by the words I wrote then. I hope you don’t mind me sharing. Sometimes the words we need to read/hear come at just the right time. And sometimes they come from our own selves.

When my eyes fill with tears, just before they begin to overflow, there is a brief clarity of vision. Edges are sharper, colors more intense and saturated. It’s as though the feelings that bring the emotional turmoil and the weeping also contain a dose of wisdom and enlightenment.

It’s possible that the sunset I watched as I made my decision to leave my first husband was one of the most vibrant I’d ever seen.

The awesome burden of knowing what lay ahead when I was told my mother had a mass in her brain left me destroyed and sobbing for breath.

The sight of my children’s faces moments after they were born stands out in sharp relief even now… softened soon after by a rush of saline.

I can’t understand why some people try to restrict these moments of clarity – the emotional breakdowns, the outbursts, the joy and the fear – they break through the barricades that protect our hearts, but also limit our growth.

Our soul is fed when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and a well-fed soul is a healthy soul.

Here’s to feeding our souls, and finding clarity in the midst of turmoil.