Sometimes, it feels like everyone I follow online is an expert in being productive, staying focused, making the most of my writing time, and making sure that I am hustling to be the most effective, efficient parent/writer/wife/friend I can be. It’s exhausting to be constantly worried that I am not productive enough, focused enough, parenting enough, friending enough, hustling enough… It’s time for me to call a time-out, and I am inviting you to join me. Basically, I’m asking myself the question: Who is the boss of me?

You guys – it’s exhausting. I know you are nodding your head right now. Maybe even throwing a fist into the air and shouting “Preach!” Because, we all feel this, right? I have seen the conversations happening online lately, the ones where people are pushing back against the idea that we all have to be hustling as soon as we get out of bed. For more than a minute, there has been a feeling that we all have to hustle to make sure our kids have a perfectly bento-inspired lunch, make time for ourselves every day, get work done, support a cause (or ten), and do it all with Instagram-worthy moments shared along the way.

I bought the hype. I have a print over my desk that says “Every Day I’m Hustlin'”. I still love the print, but I’m giving it the side-eye most days lately.

This level of expectation being placed on women is not new, of course. My mother ran her own business in the 1970s and 80s, and there was a definite expectation that if you were one of the women who were daring to leave the house every morning to Work, you had to do it with a smile on your face, in control-top pantyhose, and with the understanding that you still had dinner to prepare and laundry to do when you got home. Sure, you could have it all – but you were going to run yourself to death doing it.

By the way, I realize the expectation is alive and well for men as well – especially those who work in creative fields and are cobbling together “slasher” lifestyles. We’re all in this together – and we’ve done it to ourselves.

Well, I’m taking a breather. I’m deciding for myself what constitutes success in my life. Mostly, this will involve saying no more often to some things, and saying yes more often to others. I’ll be working on what this will look like over the next couple of weeks and will come back to report on what my list looks like.

Until then, if you’ve been experiencing anything similar, I’d love to know what you’re doing to get your cats corralled! Share in the comments if you’re inspired. And subscribe to the blog to be notified when the list is posted.