Okay, I’m going on two months of looking for work now.  This is beyond ridiculous.  I’ve applied to everything I feel I’m qualified for.  I’ve stretched a bit and applied for things I’m not sure if I am qualified for.  I’ve taken a step back professionally and applied for things I am quite certain I’m overqualified for.  Still, I’m unemployed.  I even had one person call me to say I am not going to be hired because the woman who was retiring after 19 years in the position decided NOT TO RETIRE.  Either they were making a very misguided attempt to save my hurt feelings at not getting the job, or that is a freaky kind of cosmic sign that I still can’t figure out.

Most of the time when things like this happen I’m confident in my belief that something better is just around the corner.  I have had plenty of experiences in my life that begin with something happening that is unexpected and end with the perfect situation falling at my feet… so I feel that the bumps in the road are just reasons to take a different route and find something amazing.  But this time I don’t have that feeling. Instead, I feel unsettled… at loose ends… a bit like I’m drowning, actually.  It’s hard to keep my head up and stay positive.

Why?  Why can’t I be optimistic about the future?  I guess my problem is that I really want to be writing for a living, but I don’t feel like I have the luxury of just taking my time and making a career for myself.  I need an income.  Right now.  That feeling of desperation is not a great feeling to have when looking for a job.  I know the writing can come slowly.  I know I can write as I have a job to support that hobby… plenty of people do it! But what, then, am I supposed to be doing 8-5???

I need a serious bit of signage.  Preferably something easy to read/interpret and with a competitive benefits package.